I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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