My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize