Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
