just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
