just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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