I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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