Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
