Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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