I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
