Everything about him screamed your future.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So squirting runs in the family.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
