try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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