we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
