he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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