were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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