You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
