I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize