fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
