There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
