i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
