Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
