I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
