he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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