I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
