woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
