New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize