I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think your dad took our porno
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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