White coat. Heels.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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