...so i touched it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
