Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
