i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
