If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
