We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
