Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
