Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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