were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
