We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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