last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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