your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
