We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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