After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
