i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
