That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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