I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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