I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
