I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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