Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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