You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
