Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
