You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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