We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
