I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The beer is more important than you right now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
