Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
