I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She bit a glass in half.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
