i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
