seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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