am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize