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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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