Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
