Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize