I wanna passion pit in your ass
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Randomize
