whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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