You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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